What is a Zobelgraham??

Zobelgrahams: [zoe-bull-gram] (noun) short random bits of prose produced by a brother/sister team of would-be writers. Zobelgrahams are most commonly produced on the backs of receipts, scraps of toilet paper, or dashboards of moving vehicles; (verb) to zobelgraham, to spend time writing for one's own amusement when one should be doing other things

Monday, September 3, 2012

The REAL Zombie Apocalypse (by Graham)

Somewhere deep in the UNDERWORLD:

President:      Are we on schedule? Everything going according to plan?

Field Marshall:         Yes, Sir. It won't be long now. In fact, the volunteer forces appear to be larger than anticipated. Our numbers far exceed the Resistance. There can be no doubt that we will prevail. The conflict will likely not last more than one Season.

President:   The volunteers are eager then? They have no hesitation about undergoing the, er, Transformation?

Field Marshall:    None whatsoever. They are delivering themselves up in droves. They don't even require restraints. They simply connect to the Device and passively receive the Programming.

President:     And the Programming? It is doing the job? It's effecting the Transformation?

Field Marshall:      Again, I'm pleased to report the results exceed the predictions we made based on the Focus Group. The Transformation began almost immediately and progresses more rapidly than expected, particularly on the under-thirty demographic. We believe this is due to the fact that they spend approximately  8-10 hours a day in front of the Device undergoing the Programming.

President:     Have you seen the Volunteers for yourself? How do they look?

Field Marshall:     Like the sketches you've seen. Bulging eyes, pale skin, atrophied muscles, hanging flesh, gaping mouths.

President:     Excellent! Then the time really is near ... The Zombie Apocalypse is at hand!!


Meanwhile, back on EARTH:

Buck (adjusting the volume on the remote and reaching for another chip):        Hey, Joe, you ever wonder where all the Zombies are gonna come from? For the Apocalypse, I mean.

Joe (popping open another can of Dew): Who cares? Shuddup and watch the show!

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